A pile of old photos. I can only hope this is what I will leave behind when I someday leave this earth. But most likely it’ll be a string of URLs and digital media that my grandchildren will be scrolling through instead. Whatever it may be though, I hope they experience what I felt today. As my I prepare for my grandpa’s funeral tomorrow, I am overcome by two very different feelings - those of pride and emptiness. I am proud of the man my grandpa was, the family he raised, and the mark he left on the world. I am proud that he traveled the world, was a successful businessman, and a courageous volunteer firefighter. But because of this, along with his gentleness, witty humor, and unwavering devotion to our entire family, I am left feeling empty. A void. There is a distinct and unmistakable void where his presence used to be in my life. Though its painful and hard to comprehend at times, deep down, I truly believe that that’s a good thing. That’s love. It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t feel a little less whole without him. And maybe someday, if I lead the life I hope to, I can be blessed and loved so greatly as to leave a void too.
